You may think this is not a great way to start a blog on marriage. Well, this is the title of the first chapter of Francis and Lisa Chan’s book entitled, You and Me Forever. This book reminded my wife and I that, in the light of eternity, marriage is not only temporary, but in reality nothing in this world is worth being compared to the glory that is to be revealed to us (c.f. Romans 8:18). Consequently, any marriage book or blog which focuses on the here and now and does not begin first with our Lord and Savior does not align with what he ultimately desires from us. Thus, our eternal relationship must be our first priority in marriage. As Francis Chan put it:
This is the mistake a lot of [Christian] couples make. They spend a lot of time looking at themselves and each other but very little time staring at God. When this is the focus, they naturally begin to structure every aspect of their lives around the few years they have with each other on earth, rather than the millions they will spend in [H]is presence.[1]
This book reminded us as a married couple to keep a proper perspective. Our problems are really not marriage problems, they are problems with our relationship with God, or the lack thereof. Our lack of intimacy with God ultimately negatively impacts our lack of intimacy with each other. When we rely on our spouse to meet our needs we will always be disappointed – only ONE can truly meet our needs. This book does deal with “traditional” marriage topics like communication, fighting well, goals, parenting, and the like, however, these are all first dealt with in the light of eternity.
We highly recommend this book. The Chans offer a free pdf version. They are more concerned about helping marriages than making a buck. Here is the link: It is also available in audio form on Audible and for free on Hoopla. There are also supporting videos at:
[1] Pg. 25

by Michael and Wendy Burner

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